I felt the need to talk about this, after having just finished reading The Last Time We Say Goodbye by Cynthia Hand.
The title of this post is a part of the book. It’s the suicide note that a character left his mother before fatally shooting himself. This character was called Tyler, nicknamed Ty. And he was a wonderful human being.
You could say the quote is a metaphor. “I’m sorry mom, but I’m below empty.” I had a conversation with an English teacher on Friday about what it symbolises. He came up with the idea that it represents life’s journey in the form of a vehicle: the petrol tank is empty, so how could it get any emptier?
By taking away more parts of the car, from exterior to interior; from tyres to engine; from steering wheel to seats; until there is nothing left- not even the driver.
I guess you could say this is half a book review and half philosophy.
We see the aftermath that family members of the deceased endure after the death of a loved one. It’s difficult enough if a person dies naturally, but we experience such profound numbness when this person we know does it by their own hands.
Ty’s sister, Lexi, finds it difficult to let her brother go. She doesn’t go into the garage of her own home because that is where he died. She broke up with her boyfriend because Ty wanted to talk during a date they had but she ignored the text without a thought. And Lexi hates her father because she thinks he was one cause that spurred on Ty’s suicidal thoughts.Suicide is a terrible thing with infinite potential consequences.
This book is tragic and inspirational, so I hope you read it. And if you’re feeling anything like the way Ty felt, don’t hesitate to talk to someone- even me- about how you’re feeling. Because you’ll be missing out on those wonderful years of life during which you’ll fall in love, get married, have kids, travel the world, get inspired, and achieve many many many amazing things.
That note should be scribbled out and replaced with:
“I’m unbelievably, amazingly, happy.”